John Terry red-carded, penalty missed by Messi, Torres scores, 10-man Chelsea through to the Champions’ League Final…
Holy shit, and well done!
Game review on The Sun
My girlfriend has metamorphosed into a kind of polyhedron with many pairs of feelers, membraneous wings, and fanged orifices on stalks. Should I talk to her about this, or keep hoping it’s just a phase? Snapshot enclosed.
Dear Amateur Photographer: –
I do not know long it was before I dared to inspect your snapshot. Once I did, I immediately fell wholly to the floor. How much time passed after that, do not ask me to guess, but a momentary fragment of memory shows me racing dementedly past a long stone colonnade towards a curious hummock. After that, mercifully, all is blackness. My aunts discovered me beside a nearby megalith, with my faculties paralyzed, a mark on my forehead bespeaking all too vividly the ravages of some snail-like marsupial. It was months before I regained the ability to talk any language but proto-Algonquian. Now my senses have somewhat cleared, I recommend you break things off with your fiancée as tactfully as possible, not letting her suspect you have noticed any change or blemish. Hers is such an image as — but I cannot go on. I have barricaded myself indoors, and hope never to look at another photograph, or touch any variety of leafy vegetable. Even Dalgaard’s worst prophesies fell short of the unspeakable reality! A rank odor now pervades everything, the hills resonate with sustained prehuman howling, and I keep losing my place in the Unrecommended Codex of Naarg,
Yrs Strkly. Trrfd., – HPL.
Bioengineers in the Netherlands are now growing meat in a laboratory where the future of food is being prepared – in a Petri dish
Am I weird for thinking this is brilliant? Or do I just get stoked about sic-fi becoming real? And if that meat gained sentient thought, trying to take over the world, even better!